Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The best revenge is premature balding
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Well I just put wine in my tea
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
