And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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