can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize