hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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