I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
