erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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