for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
