PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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