guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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