Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
