I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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