We named our party play list daddy issues
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
