You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
