i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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