She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
