You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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