now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
