I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
