I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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