SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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