It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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