Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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