so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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