No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
