forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
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Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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