I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
