so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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