I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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