I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she looked like the before picture.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
