I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i think my mom watched the whole time
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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