Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
