I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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