My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
