Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
