everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
