have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The adults are the big ones right?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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