that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just blew my weed a kiss
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
