So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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