FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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