Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Barsexuality is the new black.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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