I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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