He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
