Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
