Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
