two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize