I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
