At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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