When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
