I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
