The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
