I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
