Those balls look pretty dangerous.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
