she looked like the before picture.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
