Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
