I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
No subtext here. People are naked.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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