woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize