just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
