I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
