thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
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Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
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Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize