just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
cat food counts as protein by the way
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
