Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
