There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
