she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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