im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
