Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize