clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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