I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
